Naked Speed Dating is here, where you flash your junk before you chat

Last updated . By Tom Capon.

Naked Speed Dating at the Exhibit in Balham

You don't want to know what I searched to get to this photo.

When you’re dating, it’s important to get it all out there. There’s a lot of lying and pretending around first dates and it’s always a bit awkward once the truth – normally food and fart related – is drudged into the open. A guy on a second date once told me not to eat a plate of duck spring rolls at a restaurant because he wanted them and I shoved the entire thing in my mouth to prove a point. The truth. And there’s really nothing more truthful than standing stark-bollock naked in front of each other at a speed dating event.

That’s right guys, Naked Speed Dating is finally in London. It’s time for you to strip off and reveal your truth to a room full of potential sex partners.

The ridiculous people at the appropriately-named The Exhibit and speed dating company Date in a Dash have taken inspiration from Channel 4’s awkward viral show Naked Attraction, inviting twenty men and twenty women to their bar, where initially you'll shield everything your momma gave ya underneath a dressing gown. But unlike the Channel 4 show, the person of the opposite sex won’t stand there explaining in excruciating detail why your dick and toes are weird: you’ll line up and all at once reveal yourself to each other, as if you're at a consensual flashers' convention. Afterwards, the clothes go back on, you grab a drink and get to the bar, where you can flirt with all the people whose genitals you’ve just inspected. This basically cuts to the point and sees who you’re physically compatible with before you get freaky under the sheets. You know, the truth behind all this dating lark. But maybe change the story when you’re telling your grandkids…

Naked Speed Dating will be hosted at The Exhibit in Balham from 7.30pm on Thursday 22nd March 2018 and tickets cost £20.