Mother's Day rolls around every March and yet, we all do it: we forget it exists until the shocking Sunday arrives. We are then forced to drive round and round, from restaurant to restaurant, begging with a lot less flair than Madcon for that one spare table in the corner. Well, this year will be different. We are here to help. This (rather dramatic) scene we have painted can be avoided. Whether your mother is of the classic pampering variety, your harshest judge or a yummy mummy that makes you feel like the parent, we have a definitive guide that will solve all of your problems.
Work out which type of mum yours is and where to treat her on her special day. But remember, we can't buy her presents as well. That's on you I'm afraid.
The mum who ‘pushes you’, is how you try to think about it. She’s the first to let you know when your hair’s a mess or when you have mayo on your forehead. Whisk your mother away to a fancy venue with sparkling cutlery, elegant surroundings, potent alcohol (for your sake) and a varied menu providing only the freshest of ingredients. Impress her socks off at the Balls Brothers Mayfair Exchange, situated in the famous wealthy regions near Bond Street, without breaking the bank (with the benefit of looking as if you have). She can't possibly find fault with this fool proof plan, is what we tell ourselves...
The Yummy Mummy
This mum wants to feel young again, and most of the time, in the words of her favourite singer, she's 'feeling 22' (even if she is more than double that age). She’s a busy lady with a roaring social life and you’ll need to find a restaurant with the chance to drink exciting cocktails and to frolic on the table tops. With a varied menu, Floripa offers anything from Moqueca, a seafood stew, to the classic burger and fries (because if it ain't broke, don't fix it). Your only challenge is getting her home afterwards, but we figure the camera on your phone will make this journey worth the struggle.
The mum who wishes you were still a month old in her arms, she loves to tell all those awkward stories about bed wetting and that time you left your pants at the swimming pool. This mum needs to be distracted by dazzling stage lights, so take her to Proud Cabaret and avoid painful revelations about toilet habits of yonder. Between scoffing a tasty three course lunch and the arresting entertainment of live cabaret, she won't manage to induce the usual red faced nervous sweating that always accompanies your meals. Don't forget to book and head to City of London for something a bit grown up.
The Mother Hen
This mum still thinks you are a newborn baby and loves to ask where you are going, with whom, when you will be back. She won’t allow licking of knives or elbows on the table. This mum wants no fuss, classic cooking and although she’ll insist that you take her to the usual, meet her halfway and take her to a new venue that still does the old classics. We recommend the Four Thieves, a cosy pub in Battersea with home brewed ale and gin distilled onsite. So take dear old mum for a quality Sunday lunch and let the good food and live, sultry jazz music settle those worrier's nerves.
Never tried a turkey twizzler or a chicken nugget? This can mean only one thing: your mum is a Foodie, you lucky thing. She packed your lunches with salmon bagels while your school friends ate Lunchables. This mum is always covered in sauce and always uses up the wine in the dinner when you visit (which is regularly, totally not because of the wine thing.) This mum needs something experimental, food that can inspire her own. Serving weird and wonderful meals such as the turnip flower with meadowsweet, almonds and manuka honey, you can trust that Dabbous will taste deliciously original.