One Direction Launch World-Wide Coffee Shop Chain

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A year ago, Harry Styles was spotted celebrating his 19th birthday in Dalston. This morning, it was announced that five young men famed for their good looks, their lovely locks and their oh-so-sweet vocal chords have grown frustrated with their music careers, opting to venture into the cafè and restaurant chain across the entire, whole wide world. As if an up-coming stadium tour and the promise of £611 million expected earnings wasn't enough for these whipper-snappers. 

At least us responsible grown ups can rejoice in the possibility that all their craze-d fans will have a spot at which to hang out and potentially distract each other from the Twitter-sphere, leaving the internet free for the rest of us. Reports suggest that these coffee shops will cater for the younger generation, and will be full to brim with band memorabilia - if that wasn't frightening enough, there are plans in the pipeline to expand across London, New York, Paris, Berlin, Tokyo and Sydney. Yikes.