(Photo Credit: imgur.com)

Ah Glasga patter. It's like a Weegie secret code passed down from Glaswegian to Glaswegian, a living breathing language that's as brash as it is endearing and that anyone south of Gretna, hasn't the foggiest about. But given Glasgow's pure ded brill-yant nightlife we figured we'd put together a bit of a glossary of sorts to help outsiders bluff their way through some pub patter, or at least provide some banter for the locals with their attempts. So whether you're after a Bucky, a ginger, or a pint; chuck in a few of these Weegie wonders and (attempt to) blend in with the natives...  

(Photo Credit: weknowmemes.com)

Whaur's·the·cludgie

Question. 

Pronunciation: / whaur's de cludgie /

Definition:  What is the direction of the lavatory. 

Use: Excuse me barkeep, could be so kind as to tell me whaur's de cludgie? 

Foo·muckle's·this

Question. 

Pronunciation: / Foo muckle 's this? /

Definition:  What is the cost of this item please?

Use:  Excuse me madame, if I purchase two pints of Tennants and one packet of crisps, could you tell me foo muckle 's this?  

(Photo Credit: Glasgow Nightclub Memes)

Steam·in

Adjective. 

Pronunciation: / Steam-in' /

Definition:  Rather intoxicated. 

Use:  Awh man, I was steamin' last night (See also: Muntered)

Blaz·in

Adjective. 

Pronunciation: / Blay-zin' /

Definition:  Rather intoxicated. 

Use:  Awh man, I was blazin' last night (See also: Rubbered)

Bloo·tered 

Adjective. 

Pronunciation: / Blue-turd /

Definition:  Rather intoxicated. 

Use:  Awh man, I was blootered' last night  (See also; Blotto) 

(Photo Credit: @glasgagoats)

Ah·would·ny·go·oot·wi·um·if·he·fart·id·ten·bob·notes

Statement

Pronunciation: Ah would nee go oot wi um if he fartid ten bob notes /

Definition:  That fellow isn't really my cup of tea.

Use:  Jimmy asked me out. Ah would nee go oot wi um if he fartid ten bob notes. 

 

Ah·could·eat·a·scabby·hed·it.wean

Statement

Pronunciation: / Ah could eat a scabby-hed-it wean./

Definition:  I am ravenous

Use:  Fancy some dinner? I am so hungry ah could eat a scabby-hed-it wean.

 

Pure·ded·brill·yant

Adjective. 

Pronunciation: / Pure ded bril yant/

Definition:  Terribly good. 

Use:  Aye that band were pure ded brill-yant.  

(Photo Credit: quickmeme.com)

Yer·bum's·oot·the·windae

Statement

Pronunciation: / Yer bum's oot the windea /

Definition:  Your bum is out of the window - you do not know what you are talking about? 

Use:  I apologise, but you are incorrect, in fact yer bum's oot the windea. 

(Photo Credit: quickmeme.com)

It's·stoatin·aff·the·groan

Statement

Pronunciation: / It's stoatin' aff the groan /

Definition:  Oh my, the rain is rather heavy this evening

Use:  Have you a spare brolly, it's stoatin' aff the groan? 

Gie·him·a·hauf·an·ah'll·hiv·wan·tae

Request

Pronunciation: / gie him ahaf and al hiv wan tae/

Definition:  Two drinks please, good sir. 

Use:  Your finest whisky please, gie him a hauf and alh'll hiv wan tae. 

 

And if all else fails... 

A· dinna · ken · Eh?

Statement

Pronunciation: / A dinna ken! Eh? /

Definition:  I do not understand.

Use:  I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat yourself. A dinna ken. Eh?