The Valentine's Masked Ball of the Full Moon

THE VALENTINE’S MASKED BALL OF THE FULL MOON

The moon will be full on the night of our Valentine’s Ball, pointing the way to love or madness. It’s up to you.

As Selene, goddess of the moon, pours her radiance into the opulence of the ballroom, whatever you crave can be yours for this night alone.

So join us to celebrate - or commiserate - new love, old love, first love, lost love, or maybe just self love.

In the Ballroom of Desire

To mark the 150th anniversary of the first performance (in February 1867 at a masked ball in Vienna) of that most famous of waltzes The Blue Danube, our resident walzer-meister TROYLUS SEARLL will spin a scintillating selection of waltzes, polkas and gallops from the Habsburg capital and beyond.

Then the LONDON GAY SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA will take up the baton, conducting you on a whistlestop tour of the romantic repertoire, celebrating doomed infatuation from Romeo and Juliet to Tristan and Isolde.

Next ELECTRIC SWING CIRCUS will put your grandparents' pristine infatuations through the mincer, seductively blending 30s swing, gypsy jazz, ska, house and dubstep: the Andrews Sisters with backbeats and dirty synths.

Finally, dragged up from the dark and dingy depths of London’s top Rock and Heavy Metal clubs, DJ ROCKIT RIYAD will assail the dance floor with his merciless mix of rock, hip hop, electro, dubstep and drum’n’bass.

At the Blue Moon Cabaret

BENJAMIN LOUCHE, our compere beyond compare, the disreputable and aberrant Lynchean linchpin of the evening will preside over a miscellany of moonstruck loons, including:

UNGEWINSTER - the ringmaster of modern mime, bringing you his Carrollian caterpillar and Maddening Hatter.

SYBAN V - a dark, compelling fantasy of love, betrayal, piercing and stapling.

LOLO BROW - Neo-Burlesque artist, sideshow performer, sparkly drag king and lizard lady

CYNTH ICORN - purely perverted international heavy rubber model and fetish fantasist

SACHA DIEU - guru of global beats and gypsy burlesque.

Au Cirque de la Lune

Marvel at a celestial cavalcade of skill, opulence and daring from the high-flying, death-defying aerialists of CHIVAREE CIRCUS as they consort, cavort and contort on trapeze and wire in the heavens above you.

In the Onion Cellar

Gather here all you lovelorn, you broken hearted, you jilted, you two-timed, you romantically dispossessed, as TROYLUS SEARLL plays his Loss Lieders - lamentations on love forfeited, betrayed or unrequited. Then at midnight the DRESS UP DOLLS will don their magic aprons and lead you in massed onion chopping. And what does the onion juice do? It brings forth a single round human tear...

In the Opera Room

Only in the world of grand opera can love be so unremittingly linked with disease, derangement and death. To the haunted strains of the Liebestod flirt with mortality yourself by tickling a tarantula, petting a python or stroking a scorpion in TIM MAYNARD's resident creepy-crawly MENAGERIE.

At the Feast of St Valentine

Feed your lover smoked salmon blinis, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto and stilton rarebits or lie back and receive succour from our NAKED GOLDEN CUPIDS; but watch out for the odd cream cake chucked by our mischievous Succubi and Incubi.

In Poseidon’s Picture Palace

The ultimate immersive cinema experience. Return to your very first love - all of our first loves - your mother - as you slip deliriously down into the watery womb of our bubbling HOT TUBS. Before long your salt tears will mingle with the blood-hot waters as you drink in classic weepies from Hollywood’s Silver Screen.

In the Moon Lounge

Lie back on our moon loungers, bathe in the lunar light and allow MORPHEUS’S MASSEUSES to tend to your lovestruck flesh.