I, too, want to drown in that cheese.

CONTENT WARNING: If you don’t like cheese puns, turn around now. Some of these definitely miss the mark. They do land pun-neer it, though.

If bars in Shoreditch were the angel and devil that stood on your shoulders, sure Redemption bar would be the angel, but Rascals would be the devil grabbing you by the ear and throwing you into something your mum would disapprove of. Sincerely kicking your January detox/weight loss dreams directly into the bin, they’re opening February with a naughty night of cheese-based ridiculousness with the help of Tottenham-based cheesemonger, The Urban Cheese. And, halloumi-lujah, we're excited for it.

‘Fromage a Trois’, the name of the night, isn’t just a pun your dad would make: the evening is split into three, mega-cheesy activities. As all cheesy nights should, you start the night off in their completely waterproof Playroom with Head Chef Heritier Nsemi, where you can get your hands messy with mozzarella and, curd you believe it, you’ll make your own starter. Afterwards, they’ll brie you a French cheese classic, found in the L’Aubrac region, called aligot, which is mashed potatoes covered in a Munster load of cheese and onion gravy – and it’s all melted at your tableside. Your Instagram will be grateful.

Meanwhile, you’ll get the feta-tastic host Mary Camemberry delivering games, entertainment and a tonne of prizes. This might very well be the best bit: you could win free drinks, but your own weight in cheese from the Urban Cheese Maker is up for grabs, so make sure you bring the mate who hasn't been dieting this month. And, obviously, the soundtrack isn't going to be heavy metal; expect to hear more than your fair share of Spice Girls. Oh Rascals, with that kind of event planned, everyone will be rushan (it's a Chinese cheese) to get tickets.

Fromage a Trois will be held at Rascals every other Thursday from 1st February 2018 to 29th March 2018. Tickets start at £29.